A few years ago my friends and I had a 12-man fantasy draft of ‘LOST’ characters that lasted an entire evening (we invited a few girls to join but strangely none of them showed up). We laid down very few ground rules and didn’t so much as even discuss what the goal was in constructing a team. If I drafted Kate, could I make out with her? Would Sawyer and Jack on the same team cause chemistry problems? Did every team need a member to type in 4,8,15,16,23,42 and press enter every 108 minutes? What the hell was the point of this draft??

Maybe there was no point. Maybe there was no resolution. Maybe the whole purpose was to spend time together and solidify life-long friendships. “The most important part of your life was the time that you spent with these people in that bar ignoring girls and drafting characters from ‘LOST’. That’s why all of you are here. Nobody does it alone, Jack. You needed all of them, and they needed you.”

Or maybe I clearly won the draft when I snagged ‘Smoke Monster’ in the 4th round and I only hung out with those losers so I could destroy them in a hypothetical fantasy draft. That sounds more likely.

Fast forward to last week – we held another fantasy draft and we need your help determining a winner. Here’s how this one worked:

  • 12 participants, draft order chosen at random, draft is snake style (last pick of the first round gets first pick of the second round).
  • Each participant chooses a team of 6, made up of players from one particular NBA season between 1999-00 and 2011-12. Once a player is gone, he is unavailable from other seasons (i.e. you can’t take Shaq from 00-01 and then Shaq from 01-02).  The goal is to create the best overall team under the assumption they would actually play with each other.  This is NOT your typical fantasy game where you simply add up points, rebounds, assists, etc. Anyone who is anyone and/or Chris Bosh knows that stats are dependent on who you are playing with.  Factors such as chemistry, usage rates, versatility, individual and team defense, team makeup, team size, and team speed must be taken into account.  The stats are provided simply as one bit of guidance for voters.  The real question is, who has created the best actual basketball team?
  • Each participant writes a ~500 character blurb defending their team.
  • We post everything online. America votes (poll is on the bottom).  The site goes totally viral and Bill Simmons invites us in for a 3 hour podcast to discuss the draft.  Taylor Swift listens to the podcast – calls me up – we date – she writes a song about me.  We break up – she writes another song about me. I find out the whole time I was actually dating Rhonia Touiasosopo.  Kim Kardashian tweets me to ask if she can date Tracy McGrady 2003-2004. Sportscenter invites me to co-host with Lindsay Czarniak.  We connect on a deep emotional level but I keep things professional.  I acquire funding for my next venture, SteveNovakLetsHangOut.com. Steve Novak and I become best friends.

Screen Shot 2013-01-26 at 12.09.05 PMSo without further ado, here are the 12 contending teams.  Please analyze them carefully and make a thoughtful choice. This isn’t a joke.  If you can’t take a 12-man 1999-2011 NBA Fantasy Dr 1c48 aft Vote that you found on a random internet blog with a 45-character URL seriously, what can you take seriously?

reddit and forget it

fast and furiousthe dyess is rightteam burgundyburgundy batman knickslove and peacechenrishutter shadesshump and playy2knicks of fatmaniaIm just kidding, unless youre gonna do ittasteful nudes

So, who won our stupid NBA Fantasy Draft?